Thinking of Your Blue Eyes
by neurolingual
Summary: When Emily takes Hanna shopping to help get her mind off a few things, Emily begins to think about what scares her the most. Slight AU.


Emily couldn't even remember how many stores they had gone to - ten, twenty, or possibly even thirty. She didn't care. The overwhelming exhaustion of shopping with her girlfriend for the past three hours has made her void of all enjoyment she could have easily obtained throughout the entire trip. But _no_; shopping with Hanna wasn't fun; shopping with Hanna felt like a chore, like she had to do it or she'd end up listening to Hanna whine and complain until she ripped out her own hair in sheer frustration.

So, here she stood in a stuffy, overcrowded store, vaguely hearing Hanna blather on about how she thinks the blue dress in her hands would "really bring out your eyes, Em."

"Hanna, that dress is blue," Emily huffs. "My eyes are brown."

"I know, but," her grin is cheeky, bringing out all the dimples on her face, "you have these tiny flecks of blue, I swear! You may not notice, but I certainly do."

Emily rolls her eyes and hopes that Hanna won't see the slight blush creeping up her neck. But Hanna doesn't miss it, grabbing Emily's hand and tugging her over to a dressing room, much to Emily's discomfort. The last thing she wants to do is spend more time here than necessary, but putting a smile on Hanna's face after what had happened earlier on with her father was all Emily really cared about. So she sucked it up and pulled on the dress, the smile gracing Hanna's lips when she stepped out from behind the door gave Emily hope that she was starting to feel better again.

Hanna insisted on buying her the dress, even though Emily vehemently disagreed, using the excuse of "it's too expensive".

"Nice try, Em. But it's on sale. You're getting it."

With an angry huff Emily handed her girlfriend the dress and watched her walk over to the register, seeing a bounce in her step that hadn't been there before. They left the store, adding yet another bag to Hanna's continuously growing collection, and marched on to what Emily hoped would be the last stop of the trip.

The jewelry store was the most vacant place they had been in today, with only a handful of people scattered around at different cases gazing at necklaces or watches that they couldn't afford. Hanna drifted off to the other side of the store, leaving Emily alone by the engagement ring section. She turned around to get a better look at the display case; the rings inside were absolutely _gorgeous_. There were ones of all sizes, colours, carats, all of which felt way too glamorous for Emily, she deemed, to be even looking at. Her eyes caught sight of a small one in the back corner, and she asked the clerk if she could have a better look at it. His smile was warm and he unlocked the case, pulling out the ring and gently placing it in Emily's hand.

Her heart stopped at its beautiful craftsmanship; it was a small .70 carat diamond right atop a beautifully intertwined silver metal ring. Small indentures branched from the top to about a quarter way down, even smaller diamonds placed inside. She turned it sideways in her hand and it's then that she noticed the larger diamonds blue tint. Tiny specks of blue shimmered in the light as she twirled it between her fingers, and suddenly she no longer felt she was looking at a diamond anymore.

Hanna.

Just like the diamond, Hanna's striking blue eyes would shimmer and dance in the sunlight, which never failed to make Emily smile. Unbeknownst to the blonde, Emily could see everything in Hanna's eyes; if she was upset, Emily could see something that was just _off_ in her eyes and knew immediately how to fix it, or if Hanna spoke about something she was passionate for, her eyes would brighten and it was like they were smiling all their own. Hanna always hated that; it was like Emily knew what she was feeling before she even knew what she was feeling.

Feeling the weight of the ring in her hand made Emily think about her future again. She had done this many times in the past few years, thinking about her life with Hanna and how she wanted to spend the rest if her life with a bubbly, opinionated blonde who couldn't stop talking for a few seconds even if it were for her own good. Emily had never really been big on the whole marriage thing - she was perfectly content to be in a stable relationship for the remainder of her life without documentation that it was real in the eyes of the legal system. But, when she started seeing Hanna their senior year of high school, marriage was constantly on her mind. She'd dream about Hanna walking down the aisle in a frilly white dress to stand next to her at an altar, confessing their undying love to one another in front of friends and family; she'd dream of the comforting sound of calling Hanna her wife, or how her last name would sound behind Hanna's first. Emily even caught herself visualizing a few times, when she was up late at night studying at for her exams at Danby, about life after marriage with Hanna, and how the thought of a miniature blonde-haired blue eyed boy or girl would run around in a backyard, or build castles in a sandbox, reaching out for Emily's hand and calling her "Momma". It scared her to death, while at the same time she was overwhelmed with so much happiness that the conflicting emotions were always at a constant battle with one another; but all it would take is Hanna mindlessly slipping her fingers between the spaces of Emily's, and she knew that everything would work out in the end.

"Any interest in purchasing this today, ma'am?" the clerk smiled from behind the counter, snapping Emily from her wondering mind. "It truly is a beautiful piece of art."

"That it is," Emily returned the smile, but softly shook her head and handed him the ring. "I wish I could say yes, but I've never really been the spontaneous type."

He nods with an understanding look in his eyes, and she gives him a "thank you" before sauntering across the store in search of her girlfriend.

She finds Hanna chatting away with the woman behind the display case of necklaces, the two obviously engrossed in discussion about the pendant lying on a piece of red cloth above the glass. Emily grins as she watches Hanna's eyebrows arch in bewilderment as her eyes widen almost comically.

"It's _how_ much?" Hanna asks, befuddled that such a small thing could be that expensive.

"I know," the older woman agrees. "I don't set the prices here; if I did, everything would be below a hundred bucks." The two share a laugh and that's when Hanna finally notices Emily standing a few feet away.

"I appreciate you showing me this, but I don't think I'll be buying this today," her smile is weak as she walks over to Emily and laces their fingers together.

"Find anything you liked?" Hanna asks when they step out from the store and maneuver their way through a mob of people.

"Just looked at some rings," she answers without thinking. Hanna's head whips over to her, but she tries her best to act nonchalant. "I just wanted to know the difference between certain carats, is all."

"Oh," Hanna's voice is soft, and to Emily's she sounds almost... disappointed.

They walk hand-in-hand through the mall in an almost strained silence; Emily can tell that there was something on Hanna's mind; it was etched all over her face.

"Everything okay?" she asks, hoping to get the blonde to look at her.

"Yeah, it's just..." Hanna takes a deep breath, "you said rings it just got me thinking about... stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"You know, Em, just... stuff."

"Hanna," Emily stops, the blonde jerking to a stop as Emily's grip on her hand tightens. Hanna seems to look everywhere but at Emily, and it's driving the raven-haired girl mad. "Will you please look at me?" she encourages softly. Hanna finally looks up, her eyes betraying the forced smile on her face.

She knew what Emily was thinking about when she was "just looking" at the rings, Emily could tell.

"Han..." Emily starts, but is immediately interrupted.

"Don't worry about it, Em. Honestly. I know the whole marriage thing isn't your style. And I don't want us to end up like my parents," Hanna says with a sad smile.

"I would never do that to you, Hanna. I promise. I could never hurt you like that."

"I know, Em, and I love you for that." Her smile widens, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Besides, flashy isn't even your style."

Emily lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and gives her girlfriend a tentative smile. "If we ever do get married, I honestly wouldn't mind even those junky little plastic rings from those vending machines we used to buy for each other all the time when we were younger," she says, and it makes Hanna laugh. She sees her girlfriends eyes flicker to something over her shoulder and watches a shy smile appear on her face. Without warning, she thrusts all of her bags into Emily's arms and dangles the car keys in front of her face.

"Can you take these to the car? I um... have to pee," and that's all Hanna says before she disappears in a crowd of people, heading in the opposite direction of the bathroom.

* * *

The next morning Emily wakes up in bed alone to the sound of shouting echoing from the kitchen of their apartment. She had been dreaming about their confrontation at the mall yesterday, about how Hanna didn't think Emily wanted to marry her, and about how Emily wanted to tell her how wrong she was, but didn't have the courage to do so. She stands up and stretches her back, walking over to the bedroom door and cracking it open just a hair, enough for her to listen to her girlfriend shout at someone whom Emily assumed she was on the phone with.

"No, _dad_, that's not going to happen. Ever. You've had almost six years to get over the fact that Emily's my girlfriend. _Six freaking years_! Do you know how much time you gave me before deciding you were going to marry Isabel _after_ cheating on my mother with her? Barely even one! I'm so sick of this!"

There's a long pause before Emily hears Hanna yelling again, growing more and more hysterical as the seconds tick by.

"We had this discussion three days ago, dad. I love her. _I love her_. What part about that do you not understand? I want to be with Emily for the rest of my life! I want to marry her! I want to have children with her! I want to grow old with her and die with her by my side! She is my entire _life_, and until you can get that through your thick fucking skull, I don't want you to contact me anymore more. Goodbye," and with that, Emily hears a smash, followed by a sudden thud against their hardwood flooring.

"Hanna!" Emily bursts through the door and scrambles out to the kitchen, fearing the worst. She sees Hanna hunched over in a heap next to the dishwasher, and to her left is her girlfriend's cell phone, broken into tiny bits and pieces and scattered across the floor. Her attention is brought back to her girlfriend when she hears a muffled sob coming from behind her hands that are covering her face. She bends down until she's eye level with Hanna and peels her hands away, her own hands immediately cupping Hanna's face, wiping the tears away with her thumbs.

"Emily," her voice is so utterly distraught that Emily's heart breaks just hearing it. "I tried with him Emily, I really did."

"I know you did, sweetheart," Emily's voice calming and soothing the broken girl before her.

"He's had six years, six! Why can't he see that I love you and only you?" Hanna asks through a strangled sob, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Emily's, both girls closing their eyes and breathing softly, Emily still gently stroking Hanna's cheeks with the pad of her thumb.

After a few minutes, Hanna's hysteric sobs had died down to soft whimpers as Emily helped her to her feet. Hanna wrapped her arms around Emily's neck, clinging to her for dear life. Emily snaked her arms around Hanna's waist and peppered soft, comforting kisses along Hanna's neck. They pulled away after a good minute and Hanna leaned back with a small smile on her face.

"I love you, Emily."

"I love you too, Hanna," she smiled softly and leaned in, brushing their lips together. The kiss was soft, reassuring, letting Hanna know that Emily was there for her.

"I wish I would have thought about throwing my phone before I actually did it," she mumbled against Emily's lips, causing the other girl to let out a hearty laugh.

"You're impulsive; I love it, even if it's not always with good intentions."

"That wasn't with good intentions? At least now that asshat can't call me."

Emily chuckled. "Yeah, well, now no one can call you."

"This... is very true," she groaned in frustration. "Damnit."

They were silent for a few moments, before the words Hanna said earlier nagged Emily to the point where it was unbearable. There was something... new stirring in her chest. It was foreign, yet familiar, a feeling that Emily had only experienced before during a daydream when Hanna wasn't around and time wasn't an issue; a feeling that brought forth images of frilly white dresses and the word "Momma" and sand castles and _Hanna Fields_. Emily's breath caught in her throat and she looked into Hanna's eyes, finding the blonde to be looking back at her in confusion.

"Did you really mean all that?" Emily asked tentatively.

"What, about my dad being an asshat?"

"No, what you said about me to your dad before you through your phone in an angry rage."

"Oh..." Hanna dipped her head and pulled out their embrace, hugging her arms to her chest. "You heard that."

"You _were_ shouting it."

"Did it freak you out? I'm sorry," Hanna mumbled, her voice cracking with sadness.

That new feeling in Emily's chest was stronger than ever, and she couldn't let Hanna stand there any longer and think that she didn't want any of those things. '_It was now or never_', she thinks.

"No, Hanna, don't apologize for wanting those things. Don't you _dare_. I want you to want those things as much as you want me to want those things. And Hanna, I _do_ want those things; all I can ever think about is marrying you, or having children with you, growing old with you. It's just... scary for me. I've never wanted those things for myself before, but then here you come, flipping my entire life around." She took a deep breath before continuing, looking directly into Hanna's eyes as she spoke once more. "Yesterday, in that jewelry store, when I was looking at those rings, the only thing I could I think about was asking you to marry me. I wanted that for myself so bad that it shocked me; I used to only think about those things when I was dreaming. But I realize now that it was just my subconscious telling me all along that I want you to be my wife."

Hanna's expression was unreadable, and it was starting to scare Emily even more.

"What are you saying, Emily?" Hanna asks her eyes beginning to water.

"I think what I'm _asking_, is," she takes a deep breath and walks forward, placing her hands on Hanna's hips and gazing into her eyes. "Hanna Marin, will you marry me?"

Hanna's shocked, unmoving in Emily's arms. Her blue eyes dart back and forth between Emily's brown orbs and scan her entire face. Suddenly, her face breaks out into a magnificent grin, more beautiful than any one Emily has ever seen, and she can feel a smile of her own consuming her face.

Hanna must be at a loss for words, because all she can do is vigorously nod her head before crashing their lips together. Their noses bump as Emily turns her head to the side, flicking her tongue out to taste Hanna's lips as the blonde woman gasps. They stay like this for a long while, the only sounds being heard are their soft moans and the smacking of their lips. Emily starts to walk backwards, stepping over the broken mess of technology and blindly leading them back to their bedroom. Emily throws the door open and Hanna kicks it shut, backing Emily up until the raven-haired girl's back of her knees come in contact with the mattress, pushing her down and straddling her waist. The two finally break apart and laugh at themselves, Emily brushing a way a few of Hanna's fallen tears and rubbing their noses together affectionately.

"I wish I had a ring to give you," Emily stated, her voice suddenly a bit sad. Hanna perks up at hearing this, leaning over Emily and reaching over to her side table drawer, just out of Emily's line of sight. She comes back, holding something in her hands. She unveils what it is, and Emily bursts into a fit of laughter.

"You've got to be kidding me," she smiles.

"Hey, you said you don't do flashy," Hanna smirks, handing Emily the plastic container.

Emily cracks it open with a grin, twirling the flamboyant green plastic around in her fingers and reaches for Hanna's left hand, slipping it onto her finger. Hanna bites down on her lower lip to keep herself from breaking into that full blown grin from the kitchen again, holding her hand close to her face to examine the ring.

"It's beautiful, Em," she places her hands on either side of Emily's hand, the other woman delicately placing her hands onto Hanna's hips. Hanna leans forward, just enough so that her face is hovering only an inch above Emily's. The brown eyed girl smiles, trailing her fingers up Hanna's lower back and inside her shirt, tracing sloppy patterns across her skin.

"I love you, Hanna."

"I love you, Emily."

And in their eyes, there is no other moment that could ever be this perfect.

**_FIN_**


End file.
